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What I'd Cook for My Teacher

by Bruce Lansky


If I cooked hot lunch for my teacher,
I would start out with rattlesnake stew.
Then I'd serve her a centipede salad
And a tall glass of milk mixed with glue.

Next, a seaweed and jellyfish sandwich,
For dessert, an a-chooberry pie.
When she finally finds out what she's eaten,
I hope the old bat doesn't die.

Text © Bruce Lansky, reprinted from If Pigs Could Fly... published by Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Stephen Carpenter. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.

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If Pigs Could Fly...